Wrestling is pretty dope… sometimes. It’s a real hit or miss. There are some days where I’ll be watching RAW and getting really into it. The storylines just mesh well and the actual wrestling is entertaining. Sadly, that’s only about 20 percent of the time. The other 80 percent of the time is dedicated to some of the most painfully boring storylines and matches to grace television screens. Yet, somehow I get dragged back into watching next week… and the week after that.
Wrestling sucks. It’s as simple as that. But, in its awfulness is something that can only be described as pure magic. There’s something unexpectedly beautiful to it. I know that everything happening on screen is choreographed in advance, every match has a pre-determined winner (unless we’re talking about the infamous Montreal Screwjob), and the characters are either great (see: The Rock, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Shawn “HBK” Michaels, and Brett “The Hitman” Hart) or awful cheeseballs (see: Stardust and just about every other wrestler out there).
Now, if you’ve ever wanted to live out your terrible, sadistic fantasy of being a wrestler than 2k has the product for you! From the critically acclaimed WWE series and the geniuses at Yuke’s come WWE 2k16, the most recent addition to the franchise (No, not you John Cena).
I played through about 5 hours of the MyCareer mode and honestly I think I spent about 5 hours too much on it. It’s abysmal, which is really sad because I loved the Career mode in 2k13. This career has your player character clawing their way to the top of the NXT ladders to ascend into Monday Night RAW and that sounds great… if it didn’t suck to play this game. This is a bad game, through and through. It plays like a fighting game that’s too afraid to be a fighting game. It’s more focused on you creating an entertaining match instead of actually being a fun, playable game and they’ve actually leaned harder into that since 2k13. The controls are wonky, reversals are one of the worst systems in the game since they’re finicky and pop up at random occasions during brawls. I felt like it was a chore to play this game, as if I was slogging to get to the good parts, which as far as I’ve seen, never come.
The simulation aspect of this game, at first glance has a lot of potential but immediately that potential was washed down the drain. The character creation has expanded significantly since the previous installments which is fantastic and allows for a lot of customization options for your character. But, this comes at a heavy cost. Loading times come often and lasts for up to 45 seconds, which for any game, especially in this day and age, is unacceptable. After every match you’re PC is wheeled out to an interview segment. This is, by far, one of the cringiest moments of the game. The conversations are as follows:
Interviewer: “So, I’m here with *awkward silence* What was going through your head?”
You: Presented with several choices
A: I’m a professional.
B: It doesn’t bother me.
C: I will end him!
D: Let the authority decide!
*choose option C*
You: “I will seize the lifeblood of the betrayer and wrestle him to the ground. I will rip his heart from his chest and feed it to him in front of his family.”
Interviewer: *awkward silence* “Great! Back to you.”
The dialogue is stilted, the actual fighting feels awful and inorganic. The best part of this game is the customization of your custom character but you still have to deal with ridiculous load times to get to that. Avoid this game. And if you really want to play a wrestling game than buy a copy of WWE 2k13 for cheap.